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The Demoman VS. Yoshikage Kira
The Demoman VS. Yoshikage Kira is a What-If Death Battle written by Randomination featuring Demoman from Team Fortress 2 and Yoshikage Kira from the manga and anime series, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. Who are you rooting for? Demo Kira Who are you betting? Demo Kira Should I let Kira use Bites the Dust? Yes No Description: TF2 vs Jojo's Bizarre Adventure! Which murderous bomb-user will come out on top? Will Kira continue to live a quiet life or will Demoman blow him to kingdom come? Interlude: Wiz: It is said that murder requires skill, precision and timing, an art that takes years to perfect. Wiz: And in some cases, it requires a steady hand, a tolerance for pain and an eye for weaknesses. Boomstick: But as a professional murderer myself, I prefer a more simple and explosive means. Wiz: The bomb. Small, deadly, and destructive, the bomb is a reliant and effective tool of murder and arson. Boomstick: And these two have the right idea! Wiz: The Demoman, the black, drunken cyclops of Team Fortress, Boomstick: And Yoshikage Kira, the unsuspecting serial killer of Morioh! Boomstick: He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick! Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win... A DEATH BATTLE! Demoman: (Drunken Pipe Bomb plays) Wiz: Back in the 1800's, a wealthy businessman named Zepheniah Mann had three sons: Redford, Blutarch and Gray. Boomstick: More about Gray later, but oh boy, Red and Blu were anything but brothers. Wiz: Arguing endlessly for all their lives and beyond, the two brothers convinced their father to buy a large, and relatively useless stretch of land in the Badlands of Arizona. Boomstick: And obviously, ol' Zepheniah was through with his son's bullshit and when he died, he gave his company to a manly-ass Australian, his money to a woman named Elizabeth, and the useless land to his sons to share. Wiz: And understandably, the brothers weren't too happy about that. Hiring mercenary teams to fight over their land, the war between Reliable Excavation Demolition (RED for short) and Builders League United (BLU for short) raged on without end. These mercenaries each had a certain set of skills specific to them, skills which gave them advantages over their foes in the field. Boomstick: Which brings us to the jolly ol' 1960's! The Scout is quick and agile, the Engineer kills with machines, but the Demoman specializes in one thing: bombs! Demoman: "LEEET'S DOOO IIIIIIIIT!!!" Wiz: Tavish Finnegan Degroot was born in Ullapool, Scotland and abandoned at a young age. The boy was fascinated by explosives even as a child, and tried to blow up the Loch Ness... Monster-what?... Boomstick: Yeah, the world of Team Fortress is quite the odd one, and with that, Demo's first adoptive parents were gone. His mom always tells him to get new jobs, because see, when you're part of an ancient medieval Highland clan filled with swordsmen and bombermen, you kinda need to provide for the family. Wiz: Looking for another job, Tavish stumbled upon the library of Merasmus, where he opened a book called the Bombinomicon and got his eye possessed. Boomstick: But did that keep him down? FUCK, NO! He was soon contacted by Mann Co. and offered a job as a mercenary. And of course, with the opportunity to play with his favorite toys and getting paid for it, he stepped right up as the new Demoman. Wiz: Demoman possesses a broad arsenal, and has a relatively balanced playstyle. Boomstick: His grenade launcher carries four pipes per clip, carrying 20 shots altogether. His grenades bounce off of surfaces and detonate after two seconds, but should they land a direct hit, they explode on contact. But Demo also possesses other launchers. Wiz: The Iron Bomber's shots bounce less due to their spherical shape and have a shorter fuse. The Loose Cannon doesn't explode on contact, but knocks enemies back and the detonation time of the bombs can be controlled. The Loch-n-Load deals extra damage to buildings, but has only three shots per clip and its pills require direct hits. Boomstick: The stickybomb launcher is a demon of a weapon, capable of placing 8 bombs at a time, leaving him to pull the trigger when the time is right. The Quickiebomb Launcher deals less damage, but arms almost instantly, the Scottish Resistance can lay down 14 bombs at a time, and can detonate a selective area of bombs, and the Sticky Jumper doesn't do any damage, but lets Demo fly into the air without blowing himself up! Wiz: But Demo also specializes in another category: melee combat. While he carries a bottle on him to bludgeon his foes, he also carries a multitude of medieval blades and swords. Boomstick: And you wouldn't want to cross blades with the Demoknight! Demo carries different shields and special boots. The Booties increase his health and running speed, but the charge gives him the real edge. Wiz: The Chargin' Targe makes the Demoman highly resistant to fire and explosives, and gives him the ability to charge at an enemy, charging whatever weapon he has with the almighty power of crits. The Splendid Screen decreases his charge cooldown and increases the damage of a shield bash, but lowers his resistance slightly. The Tide Turner offers the weakest resistance, but allows Demo to turn around freely when charging and gives him back 75% of his charge on a melee kill. Boomstick: The Eyelander is a possessed sword, and while it lowers his health, Demo can increase his health and speed with every head he decapitates with the sword. The Claidheamh Mòr increases his charge duration, the Half-Zatoichi gives him back 50% of his health on a kill, the Scotsman's Skullcutter hits with extra power, but makes him slower, and the Ullapool Caber is a literal bomb on a stick. Wiz: That doesn't sound safe... Boomstick: That's the beauty of it, my oblivious co-host. Wiz: The Demoman is a powerful fighter and defensive player, and is one of the most versatile mercenaries in Team Fortress. He can detonate his stickybombs under him to propel him into the air, giving him superb mobility at the cost of health, he can eliminate enemies one-on one with his swords and can push with a team using his launchers. Boomstick: He's killed countless members of the BLU team, wiped out entire teams with sticky-traps alone, and even helped kill his own possessed eye, the MONOCULUS! Wiz: Wait... what? Boomstick: Yeah, MONOCULUS! That big... eye thing that shoots eye missiles and teleports! Wiz: Why... are you saying it like that? Boomstick: That's how its name is written. Wiz: ...anyway, despite all this, Demoman is not invincible. The loss of his eye means he has a lack of depth perception, his bombs can be easily dodged when tumbling, and his stickies can be destroyed. Built for close to mid range, Demoman is poorly suited for distance kills. But his most crippling weakness might be his alcoholism. Boomstick: Wait, what now? Wiz: Have you met a drunk who thought he was poisoned when given solid food and water? Boomstick: Well... about that... Demoman: "Oh, they're gon'ta have to glue you back together!... IN HELL!!!" Yoshikage Kira: (KIller plays) Wiz: The costal town of Morioh, Japan is a nice and quiet place. A peaceful and sunny atmosphere and a bustling community, this town is a place where many people can settle down and call it home. Boomstick: But you see, this town hides more than a few secrets! Wiz: The town is home to all sorts of people, from the student, Josuke Higashikata or the manga artist, Rohan Kishibe, to a simple office worker named Yoshikage Kira. Kira: "Just the two of us... We're going to have a delightful weekend... I feel that..." Boomstick: Wait, who? Wiz: Yoshikage is a 33-year old man working in Morioh, trying to live a quiet life. He is single and spends his days clipping and measuring his fingernails as a hobby. He always aims to be average, getting third place in everything, and likes takes pretty girls on dates with him. Boomstick: But did we forget to mention THIS? (This plays) Wiz: Yes, despite his unsuspecting nature, Kira is a obsessive-compulsive serial killer, and has been active and undetected for many years. Boomstick: But come on, why the hand fetish? Wiz: Odd tendencies aside, in the bizarre world of Jojo's, a select group of individuals possess what is known as a Stand, a manifestation of a user's soul. Only stand users can see other stands, and only stands can hurt other stands. Boomstick: Stands come in all sorts of wacky shapes and sizes, whether it's a giant boat, a cloud of smoke, a sword or a giant Aztec-Tarzan that punches the crap out of people and stops time! Wiz: Each stand also possesses a different ability. For example, Crazy Diamond can fix and reconstruct anything it touches, The Hand can erase anything, even space itself, and Heaven's Door can quite literally read people like an open book. (Killer Queen by Queen plays) Boomstick: But Kira's stand is one of my personal favorites for a reason! Killer Queen is a powerful stand, and while strong and quite fast at short range, Killer Queen's trump card lies in its ability to make BOMBS! Wiz: Anything touched by Killer Queen can be detonated as a bomb from coins, doorknobs, even bubbles and people, utterly destroying anything in proximity. He triggers the explosion by pressing his thumb down on his index finger, like a remote detonator. Boomstick: But Kira's bombs go even further! Sheer Heart Attack is a small... tank thingy that detaches from Killer Queen's left hand. This thing is virtually indestructible and can track targets over long distances through heat signatures! Wiz: But one of Kira's most deadly weapons comes in the form of another stand called Stray Cat. Boomstick: Stray what now? Wiz: Stray Cat is the Stand of a cat and takes the form of a plant with a cat's face. Stray Cat has the ability of aerokinesis, meaning it can manipulate the air around it. Kira stores Stray Cat inside Killer Queen and provides substantial offensive and defensive advantages. Boomstick: You see, in order to protect itself from attacks, Stray Cat can cast a barrier made of air around Killer Queen capable of shielding attacks from Crazy Diamond, and has the ability to shoot air bubbles, which Kira can charge with Killer Queen's bombs, making them deadly projectile explosives! Wiz: However, one of his most powerful abilities comes in the form of a bomb called Bites the Dust. This bomb is a booby trap Kira can implant into other people, that when triggered, kills all in proximity and rewinds time back to up to one day until he cancels the time loop or the procedure of events change. Boomstick: And for your average office worker/psychopath, he's far from a pushover. He's highly intelligent and analytical, covering his tracks for over 15 years. He's also able to take a hit, surviving beatdowns from Star Platinum and Crazy Diamond, respectively. Josuke has claimed Crazy Diamond to attack at speeds surpassing 300 km/h and Crazy Diamond has been stated by Jotaro to be just as powerful and fast, if not stronger than his own stand, Star Platinum; a stand stated to attack faster than light. Wiz: One time, Jotaro was beating him down at unimaginable speed in a moment of stopped time. See, according to the laws of kinetic energy, within a scenario of stopped time, if someone were to deliver a barrage of punches to someone else, those hits wouldn't affect the victim until time resumes, meaning that when the effect wore off, Kira was hit with a massive accumulative blow. With his Bites the Dust ability, he has managed to kill the entire group of Josuke, Jotaro, Koichi, Rohan and Okuyasu... but only momentarily as the day reset. Boomstick: But see... Kira still has quite a number of weak points, too. His stand, while powerful and fast, isn't on the level of the likes of Star Platinum or Crazy Diamond, and the majority of his abilities are more efficient in ambushing or indirect combat. This means that in an open and direct fight, he's not exactly in his prime. Also, if Killer Queen takes any damage, that damage is inflicted onto Kira. Wiz: But he doesn't need to worry about that factor, since only stand users can actually inflict damage on Killer Queen. Boomstick: Well, look over your shoulders and keep your hands close to your chest, or they just might be all that's left of you when Kira finds you. Kira: "What a beautiful city... Morioh-Chou... I cannot think of any other city this wonderful." Pre-DB: Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set! Let's end this debate once and for all! Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BAAAAAATTTTTTLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEE!!! DEATH BATTLE: FIGHT!!! KO!!! Analysis: Next Time on Death Battle... ???: What's the point if those with the means and power don't fight?! ???: What's one thousand... minus seven?... Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:Randomination Category:'Video Games vs Anime/Manga' themed Death Battles Category:"Male vs Male" Themed Death Battles